You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
