Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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