in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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