I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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