I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
