did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
