I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No subtext here. People are naked.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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