She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
