Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
