I've blown a few things in my day
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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