i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
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I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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