Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
