Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I am available for nakedness
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
