trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
