Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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