he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
