You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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