I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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