I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
