Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
