My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.