I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize