I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.