I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"