Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
