Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Damn victory sex feels great
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