Kiss
Puke
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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