rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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