hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
