Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
