Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
