Ambien. No doubt about it.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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