Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
