is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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