All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
