I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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