Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
