True but thats because hes a fetus.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
