just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We are two peas in an std pod
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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