Pants 0. Shit 1.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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