There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
