so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i now understand why vodka
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
