Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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