your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
