So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The best revenge is premature balding
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just want to make out with him forever
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
