Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize