just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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