he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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