I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
