Cold hands, warm shart.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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