The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
