8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
