The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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