Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
