you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
