There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
