Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize