god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
