I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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