I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
