I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
