hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
