Are we in a gay sports bar?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
